I have always believed that we can control our own feelings. You can stop yourself from getting angry, stop yourself from throwing a tantrum, stop yourself from liking someone, stop yourself from crying, stop from yourself from hating someone blah blah blah. I've always told Kaiwen these too. Don't know why but this time, this logic doesn't seem to apply. I start to dislike myself ... I think I am so irritating and disgusting. Just depressed.

Ten Things guys should take note on their first date

1. Dress up...appropriately.
2. Let us know where we'll be going. We won't wana be seen in tees and jeans if you're bringing us to some fancy restaurant.
3. Its ok if you can't think of some great ideas for the day. Movie will be fine.
4. Take the initiative to hold our hand.
5. Look at us when you speak.
6. Keep your handphone in vibration mode. You can answer your messages and calls after the date.
7. Know your limits. Its only our first date so keep control of your hands.
8. If possible, try to pay for all the expenses on the first date. A simple dinner, two movie tickets and popcorns don't cost you much right?
9. Be a gentleman. Send us home !
10. It ok for a kiss on the lips. No more than that.

Finger bleeding like mad! Wtf! Blame it on the idiot photo frame la...tried to pry it open at work. It opened all right..but the glass cut my finger and the next minute my finger started bleeding le. Senior keep asking me "pain anot?","pain anot?"..of cos pain la!Lamer leh...i oso lamer la...still smile smile say not pain. Whahahhaha~

Anyway...NF's CA3 assigment suppose to pass up on monday. But still not completed yet. Haiz. Plus this 2 days cant meet up with Ms Zhang to discuss ar. Die le la~ lucky is only 10% of overall. Ha~

Went town with sandy on friday. Realised that I damn long never go shop le...all my shopping skills are rusty! Went visit some stores at far east. Hmm...really alot of new stores leh. Esp those very hip-hop types...gt this shop tat sort of promote LMF ( too bad they nw already disband le). Hmm..wonder if LMF come singapore will they go visit that shop..scarly they are shareholders ar..Look out for that shop at level 4 k!

Went nJoy to see if there are any new stuffs. Haiz. Sort of kana force to buy this shirt. Used to like that shirt very much~but nw dun like le cos i intending to change image. Haiz.. . .but d boss say till like she specially reserve for me n give me incredible discounts like that...end up agreeing to buy that shirt within this month ar....but still ar, Hmmm...abit "bu gan yuan" >,< After that went up to level 4 dat shop opp Bros products...then dat owner recognise me ar. Shit ... as usual, i just walked in, havent even really scrolled through the garments, that owner already handed me a top and prompt me into the fitting room le. San sae he damn "zi dong" ar.. .. .n of cos. I end up buying dat la. Sort of regret it when i got home...but ArGH! Its hard to get out of that shop empty-handed ... oh yar aniwae. His shop iz called Collage aka Ground Zero. Old shop splitted into female and male section. Its really nice n cool ( d male sec. ) provided u r armed with money...n i mean at least hundred plus....

Feels like i'm giving shopping reviews on far east. Ha...okie last words for todae! Support my shop at bugis! Cos business quite bad on sunday..haha~

Yesterday's ECID demo was disaster. Din expect the teacher to ask all those questions...real demoralizing. I feel so stupid!Why havent we think of all those questions?????? Anyway its over le...whats done cannot be undone. Study hard for exams bah...dun hope to fly back for retest >,<

NF project isnt easy....hardly can find any information. I think is cos I nt used to surfing net bah...not really sure how to use all those search engines effectively. Usually I go check mail la, play games la, find idol's pics la...and reading ppl'z blog already take up most of my time online le. Hmm m mm....

Went to eat Sento with elin and wen last nite....elin actually wana meet me so that we can go FCUK together. But we spent too much time walking around heeren n centerpoint le. Cant make up our minds what to eat for dinner...loiter around until all of us were getting very irritated (Hungy man is an angry man...wahahahah) Ended at Sento...its really very nice! But expensive la....total we paid $48 like dat. But iz really worth the money! Cos iz really really nice ar ^_^

Weekends coming...work again. I thinking of quitting much earlier before exams le...but hmm, i need the money ar. What u guyz think?

Firstly gotta thx miss zhang for tolerating my nonsence and foul mood plus treating me to mac...thx la. (-*gam sia*-)

The Urbane sale at the atrium seems to be quite successful. As in alot of people actually went to get the invitation thingy to went in to see...didnt really like the stuffs in there though. I pulled the girls inside and yet I was the one who came out empty-handed. Haha...think the best deal was those levis top. Priced at 30% discount...not bad right.

Saw the guys' photos on Sentosa last sunday...hmm. Then there was this girl ( Gerald's friend? ) that went along. Courage! I wouldnt dare to go out with one whole bunch of guys alone..even if those were my class people! No way X_X . . . so I think ar, its either that she like Gerald alot, or that she is those outgoing type bah. Hmm m m m. . . .. . . then which type Kaiwen falls under sia.. . . .(lolz) Aniway..they like going to the beach every sunday. Hmm...Hj started going swimming this few weeks also. Hmmm...but the beach doesnt really sound appealing ar.. ..don't wana tan myself. I wana be a "fair" lady!!!!!! ( Hohohoho. ... ) And anyway I dun have the figure to wear swimsuits / bikini/ wadeva beach wear yet.. . .

Ma sent money over le... 1st thing to do is to return my aunt the air-tix money!! $425 ar.. . haiz. Considered cheap le...if not for the exams I might have taken more work. Hope to save enough to buy XO for my baba...if still not enough then gotta wait till next year's June le. Etto . . .. . haiz again.

Hey btw. U. I din backstab u ar. Believe it or not up to you. -_-

Keep forgetting to blog in perfect english here..haha. Thx Doretta for the reminder =)

IFP exams are finally over. . . . yEah~ one down and 4 more to go! All the best to u guyz out there! Waiting desperately for holidays to come...first is to meet up with all my friends. Those that I've left out since I started to get busy these few months..and of course, those that I've flew airplanes for a million times. Ha....kaiwen elin kimmy rina ... see u all soon! Lets hope that time flies faster now and slows down in the hols k!

Very soon, another semester's gone, and of cos, another year's gone. Hmm...dun think I've achieved any of my goals this year. EH.. . .. lets hope next year will be a better one k!

Something wrong with my chinese blog ... but all sudden feel like bloggin in chinese. What the. ..

突然觉得自己是一个很没有内涵的人 ，多说话只会显得自己多愚蠢。My brain works quite slowly, take for example, someone insult me at 2pm, 2.30 i realised i was insulted, get angry at 2.40, and only thought of something to rebutt him/her at 3 pm. I just cant be like rina or alex or rp. .. .able to analyse and react fast. 唉~lucky there are always people like kaiwen in this world. I wont be the slowest ~ haha~

Work today as usual. Extra tiring. Hmmm anyway...my shop is directly opposite the neoprint shop. Every weekends always flooded with couples, school kids, families ... its actually quite fun to see them crowding round the machines, choosing designs, discussing about poses and stuffs. Can see lots of 俊男美女 also.. erm rarely see 俊男啦， but 美女 quite alot. Just discovered that quite alot of model-looking type of girls hang around Bugis ... with their boyfriends. ^_^

Din wana mess with anymore stuffs this few days. Been busy handling my personal matters.. . ..was playing a psychology test in the library that day. Title was something like "Have you really gotten over him?" (Whereby the 'him' is suppose to refer to ex-boyfriends la). My test result was "need more time" and "still have some feelings but trying to control" or something similar la. Quite accurate I should say?

Sometimes I think I might be getting too sensitive. Trying to control myself but ~ or maybe its just pms la. Haha.

Sometimes.. .just feel that I'm not as important to my family as I thought I was. I feel so left out ... like not being there when there r problems, not being there when they have fun together, not being there to cry or laugh with them. Its like I just exist as a imaginary daughter and sister. There's no evidence of me in the house at all. .. .the only reason for them to call me up or send me stuffs is just plainly because they have gotten used to it. Its real lonely to see a family photo without me inside it.

I dont understand the whole point of returning to my so-called 'home' ... I'm really dying to go back, but do they really want me back? Am i still considered part of the family even if I only see them for less than 60 days per year? I'm afraid to go back to a home where people only fake care and concern about me .. i'm losing faith in them. And myself too.

.........................................Actually whats the whole point of blogging all these here?