Im back people, Im back!



Airplanes are a funny thing, I've mentioned again and again. It brings you from one place to another in a nap's time, there I was, swiping my c.c at DHC at Mongkok, here I am infront of my good ol'table at Park Mall, typing away about yesterdays stuffs.



On the second day of my last last last grandmother's funeral (my granddad had 4 wives), my aunt called to inform us that my mum's mum just passed away. What a coincidence. My mum burst out in even more tears (she was already wailing at her mother-in-law's funeral) while I stood next to her in total shock.



Shock.



She's dead. Just like that.



If you dont know me, you might be thinking that this is another intimate grandmother-granddaughter story. "I was soooo close to her" and "I-III-I *sob* cant believe that she's----deeeaadd*sob*" and a hell lot of sobbing and wailing....that's not my story.



My story is 11 journals long, blood stained pages. If you know me, there isnt any need to go into further details about the hate and hates of me and her.



I used to imagine what would the house become after she die. I even went into details like, if we discard that mirror that lie on top of her bed, will she come back and haunt me. Years back when she was still in the right mind, threats like "die in my room", "做鬼都不放过我" were a common line that pops out every two weeks. Freaked the hell out of me.

I even drafted out a list of friends that I can stay over/ask them to stay over for accompany if she die.

Oh, and the yellow amulets I got from 黄大仙. In my plan, it was supposed to be blue-tagged on every wall during the funeral.





None of this were brought out. (except for ONE tiny amulet...i stuck it on the door)




And btw, if you are still wondering, yes. I didnt turn up for her funeral. We've been debating about this issue for years, with my ex-boyfriends friends relatives parents, people related and non-related. My uncle(paternal side) was really pissed when he realised that I'm not going back to Singapore for my mum's mum's funeral, he felt that I should pay my last respect for the old lady, let bygones be bygones since she's already dead.

Thats the point. Since she's already dead, why should I? Why should I even fake it? For the world to see?

Im not celebrating for her death, there's no happiness involved; but there arent sorrow too. I cant even squeeze a tear. I dont feel for her. And I dont feel for you you you and you either, cos you you you and you didnt feel for me when I needed help.






Goodbye Grandma. Ages since I called you that huh. Goodbye.