Saturday, October 11, 2003


Din wana mess with anymore stuffs this few days. Been busy handling my personal matters.. . ..was playing a psychology test in the library that day. Title was something like "Have you really gotten over him?" (Whereby the 'him' is suppose to refer to ex-boyfriends la). My test result was "need more time" and "still have some feelings but trying to control" or something similar la. Quite accurate I should say?

Sometimes I think I might be getting too sensitive. Trying to control myself but ~ or maybe its just pms la. Haha.

Sometimes.. .just feel that I'm not as important to my family as I thought I was. I feel so left out ... like not being there when there r problems, not being there when they have fun together, not being there to cry or laugh with them. Its like I just exist as a imaginary daughter and sister. There's no evidence of me in the house at all. .. .the only reason for them to call me up or send me stuffs is just plainly because they have gotten used to it. Its real lonely to see a family photo without me inside it.

I dont understand the whole point of returning to my so-called 'home' ... I'm really dying to go back, but do they really want me back? Am i still considered part of the family even if I only see them for less than 60 days per year? I'm afraid to go back to a home where people only fake care and concern about me .. i'm losing faith in them. And myself too.

.........................................Actually whats the whole point of blogging all these here?

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