December

I gotta just write somewhere before I go crazy. Lots to do, lots to do, and LOTS TO DO.

Every day I wake up running from dreams where I get nothing completed, I start the day with a furiously pounding heart, I brave the day bearing the weights of the dreams that I promised to make come true....and every night, I go to bed with the feeling that I should be typing more proposals, doing more presentations instead of resting.

I need a rest. I can never rest.

At some point of life, you will blame luck for everything. This is not a good stage of life.

Hi Bonita, I am/you are back.

I was on the verge of closing this blog down forever. If it's not continued, I would rather make it a clean blank page.

And then I read my last post with the pictures of my growing belly during pregnancy. And the last last post about putting weight. And then on and on. This is a 10 years old blog, oh my. I stopped writing diaries ever since I've moved in with The Man, it is too hard to pen down anything close to your heart when you know all the drawers will be opened (locked or unlocked) and all letters will be read (stamped confidential or not). Ah well. WELL.

Daken's coming one years old in 2 weeks time. Yeah, that lump from my body that was deposited into a living human being. I went through alot post-pregnancy. ALOT is an understatement really.

So fucking cute. Baby I know.

Speaking of babies, I'm glad that one of the sisters is finally pregnant. Enough of prep-talk with those who are not even married, I need someone to complain to about the prices of milk powder, waking up in the middle of the night to feed, education conflicts with the MIL and a respond with a roll-eye-I-know-this-feeling-too someone.

**

Agency turns 2 this month! I'm supposed to get the anniversary thank you gifts settled. Supposed to.

Hey boy its time to get moving.

Its 26th November, and the baby's still comfortably swimming inside. 39 weeks and 2 days.

I'm still very awed by how much my belly has stretched to contain this little life within me. Life within life --- everytime I think of this, its still scaring me a little. This little thing that started from less than a thumb is now bigger than my palm, and it's moving, it's growing, it's eavesdropping on my everyday conversations...okay I should stop using the word "it". I mean he. And on top of this all, it still amazes me how my intestine and organs are still intact and very much operating. Whoever made mankind is certainly a genius.

4 months

7 months

7 and a half months

8 and a half months

9 months

Full term

How to find your true love

1. Know what you want
2. Find The One
3. Convince him that you're The One


Done.

Pregnancy brains

I'm not the kind of pregnant woman who can tell you how many weeks I've been pregnant. Everytime somebody ask me about it I would say "Around 3 months plus?". I really got no idea.

Hate making excuses for myself but seriously this pregnancy is chewing my brain cells. Some time back I posted on facebook about baby due in 5 months, and the gang-who-knew (in general, the people who knew I was pregnant before the official announcement) texted me, "Aren't you due in December?" And I was like, "Yeah." And then I tried working out the maths again : December minus May = 5 months. I was finally convinced that I made a calculation mistake after the fourth friend's text.

And I screwed up my appointments, castings included. The worst thing is no matter how hard I try to remember things, they never stay. So nowadays I insist that people just contact me via whatsapp, facebook and emails instead of ringing me --- at least there's something for me to track back.

And I

And that is, all I wanted.
=)

I forgot how powerful I used to be

When I was ten, I told myself that when I grow up, I'm never going to underestimate what a ten year old kid can do, how much a ten year old could understand and how powerful a ten year old could be.

Along the way to growing up I forgot all about it. And here I am, many many years from the day I said that, reminded by a fellow Capricorn girl : "There's alot in our world."

I remember that now.

Hello 2013

I do miss the days.
But, life goes on.

**
2013 means alot to me. It means striking off things that has not been completed in my past yearsssss' resolution. How exciting.

Wishlist

Life's been great.
I really can't be asking for anything more than what I have now, really. That being said, my christmas wish list would be really short this year

2012 CHRISTMAS WISHLIST
1. Philip Lim 3.1 Break Up Clutch
2. Jay Chou 2012 Album
3. Return trip SIN-HKG for CNY
4. Reckless Ericka reversable checked top/dress
5. House of Harlow Stone Ring
6. MMM x HM Oversize turtle neck
7. Jeffrey Campbell black platform heels
8. Office at Arab Street
9. Movie "Hotel Translyvania" with The Man
10. Big Bang concert tickets
11. 2NE1 concert tickets
12. Alexander McQueen black sneakers for The Man
13. 3D2N getaway trip
14. World Peace
15. Ballerina flats
16. Vespa with side car
17. Headphones with great bass
18. New wardrobe with all sets from Jeremy Scott x Adidas
19. SHE 2012 new album
20. Free (and safe) liposuction

A series of unfortunate events

Day One :  Six months after I ended employment with my ex-ex-agency, I received a lawyer letter from them on breach of contract.

Day Two : The Man had a super high fever

Day Five : Ex-agency director did not return on the promised date, leaving behind a bunch of mess to clear.

Day Six : Lost a project.

Day Eight : Strongest ally leaving the field.

Day Ten : I think its my fault that had the ex-team got themselves into this crazier situation.

Day Twelve : Potential investor missing in action.

Day Fifteen : Slipped and fell down the stairs, swollen ankle and lots of bruises.

Day Sixteen : On the verge of depression.

Day Seventeen : Rejected help from the big boys.


Thank goodness I had you by my side.

Willow & Huxley

The girls did a great show for Willow & Huxley during F1 period. Here's some snaps.

I really liked some of the pieces that the girls were wearing during the show, so I checked out what were the designers that Willow & Huxley were carrying on their website, and this particular brand Best Behavior caught my attention. 

How could they take things from my wardrobe like that? 

Definitely checking W&H soon, I could really get three sets, from head to toe. That over-the-head thing is so G-D.  

Ain't easy

I "ain't easy to deal with", I realised.

Ironically I believe everything can be resolved as long as we sit down and talk things through. Not alot of people want to "sit down and talk" with me though. I guess they must have that thought in their head too, "She ain't easy to deal with".

But I actually am. Takes some guts to find out.

*
My sis got together with a jerk. I was quite pissed, but then again she's just twenty. An age where you'll meet all the wrong guys, or all the right guys at the wrong time, get hurt get dumped and learn loads more about relationship. And learn about yourself.

But still. A fat boy, a cafe chef, a storeroom helper and now this? Her records so stained.

**
The Man spent $1850 on a Canon camera with lens. Ouch.
I hope this hobby (or bright new shiny toy) lasts a little longer than his previous artistic finger.

Dear Diary

I went home last night to write my diary. If The Man knows about it he wouldn't understand.


I flipped to a new page and realised I haven't been writing at all for 2012. Well in the first place I'm hardly in my house for more than 30 days this year, I think. Everytime I go back, its like Diner-rush, I've got that little time to finish washing my lingeries, hang them, do abit of self grooming and DING DING DING time's up, hands off whatever you're doing The Man and his bike is here to pick me up.

So last night, I fought the desire to continue with my youtube surfing and started writing instead. 45 minutes with myself. To sum up, 2012 is soooo full of twists and turns, not only in my life but also my loved ones.

Testshoot with Michael Seah and Zhou Mo

Another Sunday burnt on tests.

The motivation for me to buy alarming apparels is even if I'm not gonna wear it ever, the models can. 

Theme : Left behind

Photographer : Michael Seah

Model : Zhou Mo (ELITE)

Stylist : Bonita 

Theme : I'm the king of the playground

Photographer : Michael Seah

Model : Zhou Mo (ELITE)

Stylist : Bonita 

The legendary September

Still busy but not as breathtaking as before. Being out a talent agency does have some space during this period. At least I don't have a growing stack of comcards on my table, that kinda stress me out everytime I pause to take a break from my computer.

My sister is now with Dreamodels Hong Kong, great. Like me, she's definitely not one who can work with 4 walls and typical office work. We hate mixing with strangers in general, but we need the spice strangers bring to our lives. And if these strangers somehow transform to a friend...well all the better.

I'm positive that Divina will enjoy socializing better than I do.

Speaking of which I had a dream of 2 new colleagues on my team, a posh looking plump lady and her skinny fair sidekick, two mean bitches. In my dream, we were getting to know each other for the first time at a rowdy canteen, and as the sidekick takes a seat, I greeted her with a hi. The posh looking plump lady stared at me and said "Don't mind me asking, but you don't like PR don't you?" I was wondering (in my dream yes wondering) how she knew that, and I replied "Yeap, I hate PR". And from then on they became real nasty with words.

Moral of the dream : never admit that you hate PR. You would be despised.

In an empty office right now

I yearned for a trip and I got a trip.

The first hour waiting for my flight at Changi Airport, I felt like cancelling my plans. I wanted to get out of the gate, ring my sister to tell her that I'm sorry I can't go, hop on a cab and go back to his place. I didn't. It had been a bad three-days, rough nights, emotional and all. I felt that we both need time away from each other.

Well its always just me who needed to be away.

Taipei didn't do me any good. Work calls, work emails, work text...I won't be amazed by the figures on this month's phone bills. Just kept reminding myself that it's supposed to be a relaxed getaway, and I should stay focused on relaxing. Taipei couldn't keep me concentrated on having fun though, some places had become really disappointing after the Taiwan government implements this-and-thats in their structure of business and layout of the area.

But I did have fun with my sister, walking miles and miles gossiping away, mad frenzy at Cosmed & Watsons (their cosmetics are so cheap) and exploring supper places every night. I love all the nights back at the hostel, supper-ing in bras and panties while watching tv together.

 

 

.
Won't be going Taipei for the next few years I guess. 

Of course July is here, silly you

Its so hard to keep secrets

I thought I was pregnant, serious.
And now it has been proven that I'm not....I need some explanation for that ultra big slab of fat around my abdomen area. Please.



*

There has been alot of jumpy moments for the past weeks. Three incidents that shot my pressure up the blood metre, my doc almost shed tears of joy. It's so hard to keep secrets. I hate it. I hate playing hide-and-seek. Its chewing on my nerve and forcing my EQ to shed skin.

Super fragile. I feel.
And that's why I'm super appreciative about the protection I've been receiving from all sort of people. If you shade people, they shade you back. They have no obligation to do so, but they will do it because they know that you weren't obliged to shade them in the first place.

World's round.

Darn the weather....I almost died

Friends will always be there. Somewhere out there.

This is one true fact that I've learnt over the years. Away from home.

Friends will always be there. Somewhere out there. It might not be the same superhero everytime, they will take turns, and each will have their turn. If they aren't gonna appear in any crisis moment in life, those aren't friends. Those are acquaintances that you meet alot and do alot of things with. Acquaintances.

I've got a long list of acquaintances in my facebook. And I've also surprised myself with the pleasant list of friends I've made from the industry.

Niiiiice.